Beetles Are Not Fun

Sure, you may think that beetles are fun. And I don't blame you. They're cute, peaceful, and funny looking. Right?

NO DAMMIT. Whenever it gets hot, a single beetle... A single, half-an-inch, scary as hell beetle always seems to find it's way into my room. I am strong around bugs. I'm not particularly scared. But this damn beetle... Let me explain its behavior.

1. This beetle is not provoked.
I have thrown shoes, socks, and buckets at this thing, and no matter what I throw at it, it doesn't move. It's like it's frikin invincible.

2. No heat, no beetle.
That's right. As soon as the weather goes below 55F, that damn thing goes into hibernation of something and I can't find where it is.

3. You never know when it will attack.
This thing can stay in one spot for hours on end without moving. Just standing there. Taunting me.

4. If can fly.
Not only can it fly. It is so sure of it's amazing invincibility that it flies straight into things at full speed. And rest assured, you will know when this beetle is around because it makes a horrible 'clunk' noise when it hits something. clunk clunk CLUNK. And after it hits something? It nosedives on to the floor where it blends in with my carpet...

Seriously, this thing is out to drive me insane. The other day, this thing appeared and I left my room immediately, went into the basement and didn't go back into my room for 3 days at which time it was cool out again. I slept on that uncomfortable couch for 3 days in that basement.

In conclusion, I hate this beetle.